Every year, as Rosh Hashana approaches, my conversations with clients start to sound the same. There is excitement about being with family, and underneath it, a quiet dread. So many meals. So much food. And that familiar worry: how am I going to get through this without losing the plot?
I understand it. For a long time in my own life, I felt it too. So before the chag arrives, I want to share the same tools I gave the women who joined me on our webinar this week, because you deserve to come into this time feeling calmer, not braced for the worst.
The all or nothing trap
For much of my career I watched the same pattern play out. People felt they were either on a diet or off it. Eating well, or completely losing control. And when a chag or a holiday season came along, they would tell themselves they had blown it, and they would wait. Wait for after the chagim. Wait for Yom Kippur. Wait until January to start again.
Every one of those fresh starts took enormous effort, and every time it collapsed, it chipped away at the trust they had in themselves. That cycle is where most people come unstuck. Not because they lack willpower, but because the approach itself is designed to fail.
So over the last decade of my practice, I changed how I work. My mission now is to help women understand how food affects their own bodies, and to partner with their bodies rather than follow a list of rules handed down from the outside. This is the lens I want you to bring to Rosh Hashana.
First, you have permission to eat
Yes, a dietician is telling you this.
When you walk into a meal already worrying, "I hope I don't overeat," you have taken the joy out of a time that is meant to be spent with the people you love. The worry itself becomes the heaviest thing at the table.
So before you sit down, pause and ask yourself one question: how do I want to feel when I get up from this meal? Do you want to walk away feeling that you enjoyed yourself, that you ate the foods you love, and that you did not overdo it? Naming that feeling in advance quietly guides the choices you make once you are there.
Balance is not avoidance
There will be challah and honey to start. There may be honey cake, kugel, rice, potatoes, all the foods that make the chag feel like the chag. Balance does not mean cutting any of it out.
When I talk about a balanced meal, I mean thinking about how all the foods on the table work together. Many of these dishes contribute carbohydrate, which becomes glucose in the body. That is not a bad thing. But eaten in isolation, a lot of carbohydrate at once puts the body under a little stress. So we do not want to eat those foods on their own. We want them alongside fresh salads, vegetables, and proteins, whether that is meat, fish and chicken, or chickpeas, lentils, beans and tofu.
You get to decide how much of the challah you want, knowing what else is coming. That is balance. It is a decision made with your body in mind, not a rule imposed on it.
Let go of the all or nothing mindset
Here is what so often happens. You come to the meal determined to "be good" and stick to your plan. Then dessert arrives, and the battle begins on the inside. "I promised myself I wouldn't, but I really want to." Eventually you give in, and then you feel terrible, and once you feel you have blown it, you keep eating, because what does it matter now?
There is another way. Come to the meal knowing there will be dessert. Choose the one you genuinely love, take a portion that feels comfortable, and enjoy every bite. You will walk away far more settled than the person who planned to have nothing, caved, and spiralled.
Trying to be perfect over the chag creates unrealistic expectations, and in the long run it takes you further from where you actually want to be.
Plan ahead so you are not starving
On Rosh Hashana, a long time can pass between your last meal and sitting down to eat, especially by the time candles are lit and people are home from shul. When we arrive at a meal ravenous, our decision making suffers. We eat quickly at the start, we do not notice how full we are becoming, and then we are uncomfortable before the meal is even over.
The fix is simple. Have a small snack before candle lighting, or after, if that is your minhag. Arriving with a little something in you means you can approach the meal calmly and make choices that feel right, rather than choices driven by hunger.
Treat each meal as its own entity
This is the one I most want you to hold onto.
If a meal does not go the way you hoped, let it be over. Move on. And when I say start again, I do not mean restrict or eat less the next day to make up for it. That only leaves you deprived, and a deprived body tends to overeat at the very next meal. Simply return to nourishing yourself, creating balance, without trying to claw anything back.
One meal, or one choice you are not happy with, does not mean you have blown it and all is lost. It is never too late to move forward and make the next nourishing choice.
Coming into the chag with more ease
Rosh Hashana is meant to be special. Time with family, sweetness, a fresh year ahead. When we spend it worrying about what we are eating, whether we will pick up weight, and whether we can keep the promises we made to ourselves, we add a layer of stress to something that should feel joyful.
So this year, ask yourself how you want to feel. Aim for balance rather than avoidance. Let go of all or nothing. Plan ahead. And treat each meal as its own fresh start.
You can enjoy this chag and feel good in your body at the same time. Both are possible.
Shana Tova. May we all have a healthy, happy, and sweet year ahead.
